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Posts Tagged ‘selfishness’

i’ve had this post open and writing for about 3 weeks now. but in an honest-to-blog diary-esque sorta way, i’m all okpo factored out.

(side note: if this post does indeed turn into some sort of raging wordy rant, i’ve taken the necessary precautions and littered my words with pictures of kids, flowers, and baked goods. because these are the things that make everyone feel better. well, except maybe if you’re charlie sheen.)

(additional side note: i actually don’t really even understand my above reference to charlie sheen. i’m just attempting to convince you all that i still understand every single pop culture reference ever happening everywhere in the world. shit man, quit being so hard on me!)

i’ve heard of these bumps happening for any (and probably all) ESL teachers as it comes to the point in their contract where they are exhausted with the daily over-pronunciation of their own words and the consequential simplified downfall of their grasp of the English language (if you pay any attention to detail, notice that i capitalized the “e” in english. if only to stray away from my usual writing style to prove to myself that i still understand english. wait, i mean English. damn.)

i don’t feel like writing about okpo anymore, much less south korea in general. although the novelty of some korean nuances remain, the whole rhetoric of my day-to-day has left me certifiably, in the dumps.

in any event, it doesn’t help that this whole blog attempt has not exactly reached the intended readers.  the most popular search terms that lead people to this site include: “strips clubs in okpo,” “okpo massage parlour,” and “how to get a girl in okpo.” and now those leads are just going to spike exponentially since they are explicitly written in this post. fuck. i’m failing all over the place here.

now by no means is this some sort of indefinite hiatus.

we’re just on a break for now, okay? you can see other people (or read other blogs….whatever really makes this analogy sound wittier).

as for me?

i just really need to figure out why charlie sheen even matters.

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i consider myself an excellent gift-giver.

perhaps that came off a bit arrogant but seriously, i  am jealous of those handfuls who receive bang-up gifts from me each and every year. from concert tickets to hilarious movies (most of which were straight-to- dvd releases) to fantastic value village finds, if you’re on my christmas list, consider yourself l-u-c-k-y.

as i think about this more, perhaps i am not such an excellent gift-giver. instead, i have that garish quality of buying people gifts that in reality, i would like to receive. i buy concert tickets for others so that i can go, i buy movies that i want to watch, and i buy value village gifts in the hopes that you will forget it one weekend and i can take advantage of it until you are back and i will place it right back where i found it.  

this year is really no exception.

in the spirit of giving (with a price limit of 25,000 won), i volunteered to buy presents for a couple kiddies who are associated with one of the local orphanages in geoje. not only would i have liked to receive every gift i picked up, but i also realized i haven’t the faintest idea what a 13 year old korean boy would like for christmas.

the dilemma was this: do i buy the sword that lights up AND comes with some sort of secret key OR do i go for the electric blue amazonian elephant that morphs into a power ranger. see? my life is tough here in okpo.

as i gushed to tb about these fantastic finds, a korean couple overheard and cautiously let me know that the elephant-turned-power-ranger and sword-with-secret-key are actually both best suited for the under-5 crowd. (dear korean parents: the finger dexterity and developmental stage of your kindergartener is far beyond that of any north american 5 year old).  their suggestion? “something for their studies.”

since “educational” is not in my gift-giving criteria, i settled on one of the tried-and-true gifts…a dvd. (the dilemma was then between avatar or night at the museum 2. then i remembered that i wanted to brighten up this kid’s day…not depress him with ben stiller’s acting. so hopefully he finds hope and inspiration in watching blue people plug their ponytails into pterodactyls).  

luckily the gift for the preteen girl was less of a struggle.

check this shit out. you can make your own sushi!

it’s essentially asia’s answer to the easy-bake oven. but better. this girl can make sushi shaped as grapes or better yet, bears. BEARS! i’m not exactly sure how it works but it’s probably awesome and i hope all the other kiddies will be jealous of her when she’s chomping down on rice and seaweed leaves in the shape of smokey (you know, like the bear).

blog readers take note. this is all i really want for christmas.

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